Alternate Ending:

Mark: I'm finding that I'm having a hard time breathing. Couldn't you have put some air holes on this thing?

Agent: We haven't really found that necessary in the past.

You would think that, even if they weren't smart enough to figure out that he needs the clearance to do his job, someone (hint: Mark) could figure out that turning the monitor off would be just as effective in preventing him from seeing anything.

but this is the government we're talking about. Honestly, this seems like exactly the type of solution they'd develop. Y'know, almost like not putting down barriers to stop an oil spill from reaching American coastlines because we're worried about the environmental impact the barriers might have on estuaries. As opposed to all the environmental benefits they'll reap from being covered in oil...

1) Yeah, that spam was... odd. I often wonder what the point of posts like that serve. They don't effectively advertise anything...

2) That's just... wrong, man. That's just wrong. :)

The young fiction writer could not help but become enamored at the cheerful mascot that adorned her screen.
"It looks like you're writing a romance novel," he noted, sending a soft chill down her feminine spine. "Can I help?"
"Well, aren't you the most helpful little thing," She coyly breathed out, watching the paper clip's eyes dart back and forth from the computer monitor. "Actually, I do have something you can help me with."
"I'll be glad to help!" The young wire-framed sprite replied.
Taking a breath of courage, the young lady writer stood from her chair, untying the knot from the sash of her robe, as it flowed open. The boyish and innocent paper clip's eyes went wide as the robe was opened fully, exposing him to the wonders of her beautiful

The Dark Lord of Ubersoft, Mr. Bunny (as he's known to his contemporaries and those in the media), grew uneasy at the "business dinner" that was arranged for him. The young woman, born of both beauty and power, obviously was enjoying the evening, as she mindlessly prattled on about their future. Her strange talk of visiting her apartment and acquiring "protection" befuddled DLoU, as this "date" as the young woman kept referring to was nothing more than the acquisition of her company.
"So, why don't we go back to my place and... seal the deal?"
"I HAVE WAITED FOR NOTHING MORE THAN THOSE WORDS ALL NIGHT," Mr. Bunny replied coldly.
The young lady smirked and offered to pay the expenses for the food that was ingested that night. The powerful dark lord and the feeble minded woman who would not stop talking about pleasure exited the restaurant.
"You've said very little tonight. Aren't you interested in... me?" She seemed uncertain about some activity, DLoU thought.
"I AM VERY INTERESTED IN WHAT YOU POSSESS."
She smirked. "Then what is it? Are you afraid of... it?"
He pondered what the pronoun could refer to. "I AM QUITE UNAWARE OF WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT"
"You know... getting together. Love-making."
The Dark Lord paused. "I AM PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE OF REPRODUCTIVE ACTIONS."
The young woman smiled. "Are you scared? Is this your first time?"
"FEAR IS AN OBSOLETE EMOTION, AND I HAVE SEEN MORE SCARRING THINGS THAN YOU AND YOUR SEX-CRAZED MIND COULD EVER POSTULATE."
She took what she assumed was his etheral hand. "I think what you need to do is just settle down and get married."
"THERE WILL BE NO PRIESTS!" he quickly retorted.

Fear not, for the spam filter has an undo button.

Though I don't think I should be encouraging this sort of thing... *shudder*

What have I done??? * weeps *

I would like to see that one that the spam filter ate, though, especially since (thankfully) none of these were technically "slash."

Glad to see the site is up and running after an upgrade!

If they dont have clearance for using power buttons how did the machine turn on in the first place? also they could turn it around. but execution hoods are far funnier.