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The Ultimate Test

1 August 2008 - 7:21am — Christopher Wright
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Help Desk, by Christopher B. Wright
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Comic Transcript

VIKTOR SCHRECK: In summation, the Grand Unified Integrated Litigation Theory is the missing link we have been searching for throughout the entire history of the legal system. with it, we can merge the entire legal system - every single law, be it federal, state, or local ordinance, civil or criminal, high crime or misdemeanor -- into a single, unified, legal cudgel that we may swing at whosoever we choose.

VIKTOR SCHRECK: But I sense that there are still skeptics among you. This is only natural. Until something is actually tested in the courts, it is impossible to say with any absolute certainty whether a theory will or will not work.

VIKTOR SCHRECK: What we need is a way to test this theory against a fierce, uncompromising opponent who will spare no expense to see it discredited. Only then will we know that my grand Unified Integrated Litigation Theory heralds a golden age of corporate law.

VIKTOR SCHRECK: With that in mind, I have decided to sue everyone sitting in the audience this evening.

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Comments

And with that statement...

2 August 2008 - 12:54am — Saronian

And with that statement, anarchists and protestors assemble, with hitmen from around the world gathering to to eliminate the assembled army of Lucifer (ie. the lawyers).

Man, this is a good comic and all, but sometimes it makes me alittle hot under the collar seeing something that could happen because we let a bunch of pansy ass, backstabbing, willing-to-sell-thier-own-mother-for-an-oriental-rug, never-knew-the-meaning-behind-honor-and-duty, bottom-feeding, sorry excuses for humans get control of society.

God, I wish we could space the lot of them and be done with it.

Actually I've come to know

2 August 2008 - 3:42am — Steppanwolf

Actually I've come to know several lawyers in my working experience. I would make the wager that aside from the TV lawyers you hear about day in and day out, the majority are fair minded and decent people like the ones I know. Ones that actually passed the ethics tests.