Comic Transcript

JIM WASHINGTON: Tonight our lead story is a bizarre development in Ubersoft's many legal battles to protect its intellectual property.

JIM WASHINGTON: Ubersoft has confirmed that Viktor Schreck, Ubersoft's chief counsel, has filed a civil suit against Viktor Schreck, Ubersoft's chief counsel, for violating Ubersoft's Intellectual Property rights.

VIKTOR SCHRECK: No one -- not even myself -- should feel they can trample upon Ubersoft's Intellectual property and get away with it. i will hunt myself to the ends of the earth, and will not rest until the full force of the law is brought down upon my head.

JIM WASHINGTON: Experts agree that whatever the merits of the case, on the whole this one is going to be hard to follow.

VIKTOR SCHRECK: I'd also like to take this moment to state that I am absolutely innocent of all charges, and that it's a sad day when the justice system allows this kind of farce to go forward.