Eviscerati.org

A Circuitous Route

Help Desk, by Christopher B. Wright

Comic Transcript

PHIL: No, that didn't work.

BARRY: Maybe we could create some kind of logic loop that would trap the part of the program that keeps selecting him.

MARK: This is ridiculous.

ALEX: Have you been here all weekend?

PHIL: This isn't Star Trek, Barry. Maybe we could temporarily re-weight all the search criteria to make Mark less statistically interesting.

BARRY: But that would exclude more than just him. Maybe we could add a flag to the program that excludes any Ubersoft employee from the search.

MARK: This stupid database they're using to select their lawsuit victim keeps picking me. They're trying to figure out how to get it to stop.

PHIL: That might work... would we include contractors, too?

BARRY: Better make that a separate option.

MARK: Guys... why don't you just delete my name and information form the database?

PHIL: But if we do that you'll be excluded from all the searches when we run this baby for the Federal Government.

BARRY: And then national security would be at stake.

MARK: Oh, for -- look, delete it for THIS search, then just add it back in when you're finished.

(Silence.)

PHIL: But that would be work.

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Comments

Wishful thinking

He's just hoping they'll forget to re-add his name to the list afterward.