Comic Transcript

ALEX: Ubersoft Technical Support. Alex speaking. How may I help you this morning?

CUSTOMER: I'm not satisfied with my software, and I'd like a refund.

ALEX: I'm sorry, but you haven't gone through all the authenticaiton steps necessary for us to authorize a refund.

CUSTOMER: Authentication steps? What authentication steps?

ALEX: Well first you need to send us proof of purchase, which we will claim to either lose, or to never have received... then you'll need to contact us again a few weeks later to complain, at which time we'll force you to send the proof of purchase in again.

ALEX: At that point we'll probably tell you you're ineligible for a refund because the product refund timetable has expired. The good news, though, is that you're almost at the end of the refund process.

CUSTOMER: I am?

ALEX: You are. There's just one more step.

CUSTOMER: What is it?

ALEX: Contact the Attorney General of your state and get him or her to initiate a class action lawsuit on your behalf. We almost always approve the refund at that point.